03 Nov It’s In The Cards

Simply put, Halloween is my jam! It always has been, and it always will be. It’s an enchanted holiday that brings with it brisk fall weather, and the unmistakable smells of fake fog and pumpkin innards. Truth be told, I never cared as much about the candy or the costumes as I did about the “magic” of it all.

When I was 16 I did things like burn juniper incense and practice witchcraft. Let me assure you that my wizardry was never malicious- but more of a desperate attempt to make boys like me. Though I’m sure melting toads feet and chanting in pig Latin weren’t to credit for boys eventually liking me, the practices themselves did turn me on to an idea that would change my way of thinking forever. I could manifest things just by thinking about them. How simple. How utterly delicious. And most importantly, how empowering for a slightly chunky, 16 year old girl!

My days of sorcery were short-lived for obvious reasons (but mostly because sorcery wasn’t a widely accepted practice in my college dormitory). Fast forward to this past Friday, the wonderful All Hallows’ Eve. After taking both kids trick of treating and spending time with the family I was ready to power down my broom and hit the sack. That’s when my Mom hit me with the bait- there would be a tarot card reader at a beachfront bar down the street from her house. Well then, I would have to go. The tarot card reader would have a message for me, I was sure!

Side Note: For the past couple of months I had been plagued by a small nagging feeling in my stomach. Like there was this creative beast living inside of me and he/she could no longer survive on a Real Estate career and mommy-hood alone. This beast needed to save the world (one adopted dog at a time), or dance wildly, or paint, or create.

Upon entering the bar, I immediately spotted the tarot card reader. He sat there, looking so cute in his little Genie get up, just waiting to speak the truth to me. I hesitated and let my Mom go first while I sat down to get a henna tattoo from Madame Patti. I figured I would know after my Mom’s reading if he was a fraud or not. She got up from her reading, and smiled. Now, whether or not what he said was the truth, what he said made her smile and that was good enough for me. I sat down, palms sweating, eager to hear what the cards had to tell me. I cut the deck and placed the cards according to his instructions. He snickered and grinned (keep in mind how cute he looked in his little outfit!) as he flipped the cards. To my chagrin, and after all that snickering, he said he didn’t have much of anything to say. He said that my guides (I took this to mean, my gut) spoke loudly and that all I had to do was start listening. He said I needed to write and once I started writing the rest would fall into place. He said I needed to be creative and once I was creative I would feel complete. But write what? And who would read what I wrote? He left it at that and sent me on my way. His one word of advice: to write everything that held me back from following my heart, and then burn it.

So today I made the list, and I burned it.